It’s impossible to name all the ways pets touch our lives. Even the term ‘pet’ as it’s defined in most dictionaries seems too unremarkable a word to fully capture the relationship that many of us have with our fur babies. It really is a wonder that humans can share such a deep understanding and companionship with a creature that cannot even speak in human language. But they do speak to us in their own way, and given enough time, we learn to carry on many meaningful conversations, largely without words.
Pets, in many regards, come to know us in the most genuine sense. They see all we are behind the scenes of life, when the doors are closed and the shades drawn. They even give us a reason to find joy when everything else seems to be going wrong in our lives, and for that reason, they are one of life’s most irreplaceable gifts. But how do we navigate the tide of grief that comes when our time together inevitably ends?
While their impact on our daily lives is immense, the duration is always far too short. It can be hard to navigate that loss. In some cases, it can be hard to fathom opening ourselves up to the pain again and welcoming a new furry friend. If that’s where you are right now, I’m so sorry. My heart aches for you and the ways your life has had to change since you said goodbye.
But I’m also so very glad for you, and believe it or not, proud of you too. I’m glad that you had the opportunity to experience such a sweet relationship with a pet. And I’m proud that you stepped up to the plate and chose compassion, rather than the fear of one day letting them go. The world needs more people with your courage. Because that’s what it takes to love, especially to love something with a far shorter lifespan.
I tried to take the cowardly route for several years. I swore off pets, certain that I could not endure the pain of losing one when the time came. So instead, I committed to never getting attached in the first place. But the Lord had different plans. Now I’ve had to spend a good deal of time coming to terms with the inevitable, even as I spend each day falling deeper in love with my own favorite furball.
As I write this, my gigantic Siberian/Maine Coon mix, Blue, is curled up warmly between my legs. When I shift my feet against him, he curls his fuzzy paws over his face and sleeps blissfully on. Earlier, he greeted me at the door with a small trill and happy trot to my legs that made my heart melt. Tonight, he’ll wake me up at some dark hour and demand belly rubs on his pudgy, velvet-soft tummy. I could go on and on about all the adorable ways he brightens my life daily. He keeps me company, always content to be with me regardless of how I look, feel, or act. And it’s hard to imagine how my life could ever recover if he were not a part of it.
But one day, it’ll be time to say goodbye. To be honest, the thought alone is enough to get a lump forming in my throat. (I’ve cried multiple times writing this post.) For a long time, I struggled to understand how the threat of loss could possibly be overshadowed by the sweetness of their company. But the more I think about his needs and commit to being the person who can meet them, the more I’ve come to realize that the fact that our lifespans are misaligned does not have to break my heart forever.
I’ve also come to realize that these precious relationships are part of a journey. As long as his light lasts, Blue is mine. He’s my responsibility, my commitment. He’s my furry little companion through the worst of life’s days and my warm rush of joy each morning. And no, he won’t always be here. Time is limited for all of us, and his runs faster than mine. But the world needs us to find the courage to carry on in the cycle. I would have missed out on so much goodness and joy if I had not eventually found the courage to keep the scraggly little kitten that showed up under my carport.
So while our lives intersect, whether two years or twenty, I will try to return all the love and care he gives me in kind. When the sad day comes when our paths naturally diverge, I will have no regrets because I’ll know we spent every day of his sweet life happily together. What more could any of us ask for?
And how fortunate I am to have found such a loyal friend for those years. I’ll grieve as fully and deeply as I need, but in the end, I will treasure his memory and try to live out the lessons he taught me. He passed into my life quite unexpectedly, and one day he’ll have to pass out again. But I feel sure watching him live his life to its fullest and love his very best every day, that he’s holding nothing back.
So when his time closes, I can rest assured that he completed his journey well, having lived BIG along the way. This has brought a great deal of peace to my mind as I watch him grow older. But the question always remains, what then? He makes up such a big part of my life now, and his loss will leave a hole in my heart just as large. How can I expect to face the rest of my life without a pet companion making it better?
The answer is I don’t have to remain alone in grief. There is too much at stake for any of us to stay cooped up in our grief. There are so many animals out there who are desperate for a chance to be loved and return that love wholeheartedly for the entirety of their lives. Does this open us up to a repeated cycle of grief? Undoubtedly. But the alternative is much worse. After watching Blue care for me in his own quirky way and happily spend his entire life sticking by me, I know he’s not asking for more than that.
Our pets only want our love and attention while they’re here to walk with us, and when they move on, they are not still staking claim to our hearts. I’ve no doubt that Blue would be happy to see me open my home and heart to another abandoned kitten when he can no longer be the one by my side. It’s in no way an act of replacing him, but rather honoring the life we shared by showing love to another animal who’s scared and lost.
The reality is, our cities are full of animals who will have a harder life without a caring owner. Shelters are full of hopeful little faces just waiting for a chance. Rescue animals are already in need, and we can fill a gap and heal an injustice. Will it hurt to step past our grief and start the cycle anew—yes, but the reality of what they’ll suffer without us hurts more.
So, when the wave of grief begins to slowly ebb and you’re left with a choice between loving again and avoiding heartache, choose love. The beautiful cycle will begin again. We will have to say goodbye too soon; we’ll watch their entire lifespan slip by as we watch and love and grow more attached, but the greatest gift, and an important perspective to maintain, is that we will give them the best possible life for the duration of their shorter time here.
They’ll know love, security, and comfort. We’ll share a new bond that soothes them and forever enriches us, even though our lifespans aren’t wholly aligned. They will spend their whole life traveling through this circle of joy, the joy they give us, and the joy we give them. And when it’s time for them to move on, we can each rest easy knowing that our journey together was well spent and full to the brim with love and compassion.
Related Reads:
How to Tell if Your Pet is Healthy
A Simple Solution to Enhance Security for Your Pets and Home
Leave a Reply